Tuesday 25 May 2010

How to Be Un-Agile

1) Insist your team provide you with a weekly update/report/metrics even though all the metrics are readily available and easily accessible.
2)  Insist on using a vast array of tools, the more electronic the better
3) Constantly insist on eradicating the board without really using it or giving it a chance.
4) Don't relate your daily update to any of the tasks on the board
5) Don't discuss any of the burn down or update your burn down after the meeting
6) Do your own thing without putting an unplanned task on the board
7) Keep the virtual standups 3 minutes long only specifying what you did without having any kind of virtual representation of the board where you have your stories/tasks in front of you that you can discuss.
8) Add random ad-hoc people to the team mid sprint without re-jigging velocity
9) Don't concern yourself with story points they are useless anyway
10) Try and equate story points to man days
11) Don't concern yourself with velocity etc at the end of the sprint either! 

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